by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.
I lived in Ann Arbor from 1952 through 1965 (sixth grade through my master’s degree from the University of Michigan (UofM)) — 13 years total. I say this only to provide some perspective regarding this essay. During that time my family moved twice. We began our stay in a house at 701 Sunset Road high above the city (as high as you can go above a city in which there are no mountains, only minor hills) and ended our stay at 1476 Kirtland Drive (a Drive my parents named after Michigan’s Kirtland Warbler), in a house just blocks from what was then called Ann Arbor High School (Pioneer High School now). All of my memories of Ann Arbor are positive, and that, too, colors the nature of this essay.
Our family moved from Raleigh, North Carolina, because my father changed jobs from North Carolina State University to the University of Michigan. I completed my elementary grades (with the exception of sixth grade) in North Carolina — four in Chapel Hill (where my father taught at the University of North Carolina) and only one in Raleigh (fifth grade).
I don’t remember much about Chapel Hill or Raleigh, nor do I remember much about our move from North Carolina to Michigan. Obviously, it wasn’t too traumatic, or you would think I would have some memory of it. My memories of Ann Arbor, however, are quite vivid. Perhaps that’s because my in-laws lived there, and after we moved from there we returned for visits on a regular basis. After leaving Ann Arbor, my wife and I spent three years at Bloomington, Indiana (where I worked for my Ph.D.), then six years at Amherst, Massachusetts, where I taught in the Department of Speech Communication.
One of the vivid memories I have of Ann Arbor has to do with the parks. In our first house, we lived just about a mile or a little more from West Park, and during winters they would freeze an area for ice skating. I loved to skate. I even skated when I could at the University of Michigan Ice Arena, and when our family moved from Sunset Road to Kirkland Drive, we were close to Almindinger Park, where the city would freeze an area for ice skating as well. Many hours were spent at these various places, and I looked forward to winter for this reason.
I always had transportation, and seldom was I totally dependent on my parents to lug me around. Whether it was a bicycle, motor scooter, or car, I had near-total independence. I loved my freedom! Also, I had a room in the basement of these houses, and because of that I could come and go as I pleased (within what was considered reasonable!). Another thing that allowed me near-total freedom as I grew up in Ann Arbor was that I maintained excellent grades. Never could my parents complain that all of my extracurricular activities nor my outside-of-school interests (I had many!) were negatively affecting my success in school. I loved school, and I devoted myself to doing an outstanding job, but, that in no way conflicted with everything else.
I began work at 14-years-old, and during summers I worked full-time; however McDonald’s (among the first McDonald’s restaurants in the country!) had to be careful of how many hours they reported since there were restrictions regarding hiring minors. When I worked there hamburgers were fifteen cents, fries were ten, and milkshakes were twenty. I was, by far, the fastest “window man” they had (they hired only men!), and that was not just because of my speed in gathering together what customers requested, it was because I could so quickly add-up orders in my head. When you’re dealing with products all in denominations of five, that is not an extraordinary task; however, considering many of the other workers at McDonald’s, you would not have wondered why their math skills were slightly deficient! For most, school itself was.
Another of my vivid memories of growing up in Ann Arbor was my work in the Unitarian Church. For several years I was the president of the Liberal Religious Youth (LRY). During my tenure, I built the group into the largest body of youth the church had ever experienced. There was a specific technique I used, and it had nothing to do with religion, prayer, or anything biblical. My sister and I (and a group of my sister’s friends) loved to dance to rock n’ roll, so I not only had a portable record player, but I collected 45s. I had the latest records and more than 500 of the little discs.
It was rock n’ roll music that attracted the youth to our gatherings. Whether or not their parents came to church because their sons and daughters were interested was totally irrelevant to my activities. I built a youth group on music and snacks — and a good time. The youth loved it, and each gathering seemed to get larger and larger. We met weekly in the basement of the church.
Sometimes, too, our group was invited to visit other LRY groups in the area. We traveled a lot. The two visits I remember most were to Birmingham, Michigan, and to Grosse Point. In both cases, my memory is spurred by females whom I came to know in those groups. In Grosse Point, the president of the LRY was the daughter of the pastor there.
Besides school, work, and the LRY, I ran around with two totally separate sets of friends. The first set was all in my neighborhood around Sunset Road, and we would gather regularly to play pick-up football on Beechwood Drive. We would choose-up sides, and often we would we redistribute members when things were going too well for one side or the other. Those games were not only fun (they would go on for hours!), but they were totally free of quarrels, squabbles, and arguments. We were just a group of neighborhood kids having a good time. (There was David Shawaker, Eric Nagler, Bob Berkely, and Billy Dunlap — all regulars. Mike Stabler would join us occasionally, and Don Mast (who was older) joined us a couple of times. Anyone could join at any time, and we would just add them to one team or the other wherever the need seemed to be..)
My second group of friends I acquired because of my Lambretta — a luxury Italian motor scooter. It was not the 150, which was top-of-the-line and faster than mine. It was the 125. But I loved it, and I kept it clean. My friends, Jerry Green and Eldon Rice, had 150 Lambrettas, and although their motor scooters were faster than mine, that never mattered. (We could easily go 50 or 60 mph.) If anyone had any perspective on these associations, they might wonder how in the world would Dick Weaver ever be found “hanging out” with these guys? We hung out at the Ann Arbor sales store for Lambrettas, rode around a lot, and just had fun. Most of our “togetherness” had no purpose whatsoever, but we would visit the homes of “females of interest,” attend school functions, and find reasons for traveling to various places in and around Ann Arbor.
As you can see, I was an energetic youth. You can also tell from just these descriptions, that I led an active life. What made it particularly exciting was the variety. I was never still, never bored, never unengaged. For me, Ann Arbor holds wonderful, fulfilling, pleasant, and satisfying memories.
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There is a web site called Memories of Our Youth (November 20, 2010) where there is a very short essay, “Circle of Friends,” and a second essay, “25 Random Things,” that will stimulate your thinking about the past and your own youth. (There are other short essays, too, which have little or no relevance.)
I put “Memories of Ann Arbor” into the Google search engine, and a University of Michigan History web site popped up, and the memories of Ann Arbor, here, are provided by Jim and Anne Duderstadt. It is just an interesting read to see what a former president of the UofM thought of the place after moving there from Southern California.
There is a great web site for the Washtenaw County Historical Society, where the Museum Gift Shop advertises a large number of books about Ann Arbor. Ordering information, of course, is provided there, too.
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Copyright August, 2012, by And Then Some Publishing L.L.C.
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Grow up!
by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.
When I gave my lecture on “How to become a writer” to fifth graders, I had a young fellow ask me after the lecture was over, “Were these the things you did to become a writer?” Although I would have loved to say, “Yes, exactly!,” I had to be honest with him. “No,” I said, “but I didn’t have someone come into my class in the fifth grade and tell me what I’ve told you today. These are things that I learned and am now sharing with you.”
There are so many things I wish I had known about as I grew up. Of course, part of the fun of growing up is learning about new things, so there is a certain dichotomy here that is difficult to resolve completely. My thinking on this is simple. Since there are so many things to learn—and things that you can learn—all the help you can get is greatly appreciated. The help only serves to lay the foundation for even more learning and understanding.
There are some ideas, however, that can help solidify a foundation. That is, there are ideas that are basic and can serve as a starting point.
First, let me ask you if you know someone who is immature? Someone who needs to grow up? Someone whom you know could be more active and creative? Someone who could lead a more purposeful life if he or she just “wised-up”? Someone who just seems to be wasting his or her life away—wandering randomly and aimlessly without goals, purposes, or direction?
If your answer is yes, then I have an idea. I have written a book designed just for such a person. It is called You Rules—Caution, Contents Leads to a Better Life (And Then Some Publishing, 2008). This is the kind of book I wish I had as a teenager, as a college student, or even as I was just starting out in life. I was a person who needed direction and purpose.
You Rules is a 316-page book (with only a mere 175-words (average) on a page) that is divided into six parts: 1) Establish the characteristics, 2) Strive to be healthy, 3) Get where you want to go, 4) Exercise your creativity, 5) Maintain your progress, and 6) Look toward a positive future.
The first section, “Establish the characteristics,” includes eight chapters, 1) Learn to be optimistic, 2) Develop a positive attitude, 3) Make self-discipline a habit, 4) Become passionate about life, 5) Make your own luck, 6) Get out of your comfort zones, 7) Make TNT your motto to feed your mind with positive input, and 8) Get organized.
Each chapter is full of specific, practical advice and suggestions. I write in the “Introduction,” “If you are looking for encouragement, specific suggestions, and inspiration to make changes in your life, this is the book for you.” For example, I write in Chapter 2, “Develop a Positive Attitude,” “For those who do not possess a positive attitude, positive thinking, and optimism, there are a number of things that can be done. Essentially, it requires a change in your mindset, but, even if you have been a pessimistic, negative thinker for many years, it is not too late to change your way of thinking and reap the benefits of a positive attitude” (p. 9). This is a series of sentences that can be changed only slightly to include every topic covered in the book.
Whether the subject is learning to be optimistic, developing a positive attitude, making self-discipline a habit, becoming passionate about life, making your own luck, etc. (any subject in the book!), I not only offer suggestions for change, but I give the reasons why as well. How will change help you? What differences will it make in your life?
The second section, “Strive to be Healthy,” includes six chapters: 9) Adopt a healthy lifestyle, 10) Make a commitment to regular exercise, 11) Develop a sense of wonder, 12) Have a sense of humor, 13) Make healthy selfishness part of your everyday existence, and 14) Work to achieve mindfulness in your life. In the “mindfulness” chapter, there are fourteen specific mindfulness traits that can be adopted, applied, and used in your life—practically and right now.
The “Get Where You Want to Go” section includes the most chapters of any section at eleven. That is because moving from where you are now to where you want to be requires more than just motivation; it requires action. These chapters discuss commitment, self-discipline, time management, listening to instincts, controlling worry, developing memory, pulling yourself up, pursuing a program of growth, development, and change, becoming an effective listener, moving to the front of the pack, and opening the mystery doors of your life.
Chapter 16, “Develop Self-Discipline,” is one of my favorites because it is based on the speech I gave as part of the “Last Lecture Series” at Bowling Green State University. In this chapter, I discuss the seven keys to developing self-discipline: attitude, time management, capitalizing on your skills, working hard, taking good care of yourself, making time for relationships, and spirituality. If there were one, overarching, chapter of greatest importance, it would probably be this one simply because it is one of the keys to accomplishing the ideas in all fifty chapters.
All of the chapters in You Rules are motivational. One of the best examples, however, is Chapter 24, “Strive to Move to the Front of the Pack.” In this chapter, there are at least eight specific suggestions that apply to any situation you face in life in which you want to excel. If you are truly interested in self-growth, this is an essential—exceptional—chapter.
The fourth section of the book, “Exercise Your Creativity,” includes six chapters: 26) Discover the benefits of creativity, 27) Develop the characteristics of successful, creative people, 28) Know how the creative process works, 29) Establish the kind of life in which creativity will flourish, 30) Become immersed in a field of study, and 31) Capitalize on flow. This is a section where you can truly stretch your boundaries, extend your knowledge, and push yourself beyond what you are and what you know.
There are nine chapters in the fifth section of the book, “Maintain Your Progress.” This section discusses all the distractions that can get in the way of forward progress—failure, mistakes, obstacles, undesirable social influences, perfection, brain issues, and devilish issues. The final chapter in this section, Chapter 40, “Make Your Self Improvements Last,” contains four specific and realistic suggestions that are guaranteed to assist you in making the changes you want continue. Change is tough—requires time, effort, focus, and commitment—but when you examine your life and make changes, now (with the book You Rules) you can make them last.
The final section, “Look Toward a Positive Future,” includes 10 chapters that attempt to keep things (change, growth, and development) in perspective. “Don’t take yourself too seriously,” advocates caution, just as the chapters on developing a growth mindset, reflecting on your present blessings, learning how to forgive, making the best use of your time, and striving for improvement not perfection. The final chapter about “the good life” shows that it is both well-defined and achievable.
At the end of Chapter 6, “Get Out of Your Comfort Zones,” and as part of the conclusion to that chapter, I write what could be the theme or thesis of the entire book: “What many people fail to realize is that, indeed, they are in charge of their lives—qualified, capable, and able—and they have the key to their prison cells if they would just find it, put it into the lock, turn it, open the door, and allow themselves to be catapulted into new and uncharted territory” (p. 17). Catapulted, I might add, into new and uncharted territory that could best be characterized by “growth.” At least when someone tells you to “Grow up!, after reading You Rules, you will know how to do it.
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At wikiHow the essay, “How to grow up,” offers 7 practical tips for growing up.http://www.wikihow.com/Grow-Up>
At Scribd the essay, “Ten Steps to Mental Maturity,” is excellent!
At Adoption.com the essay “7 Steps to Emotional Maturity,” is also excellent!
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Copyright August, 2012, by And Then Some Publishing LLC
When I gave my lecture on “How to become a writer” to fifth graders, I had a young fellow ask me after the lecture was over, “Were these the things you did to become a writer?” Although I would have loved to say, “Yes, exactly!,” I had to be honest with him. “No,” I said, “but I didn’t have someone come into my class in the fifth grade and tell me what I’ve told you today. These are things that I learned and am now sharing with you.”
There are so many things I wish I had known about as I grew up. Of course, part of the fun of growing up is learning about new things, so there is a certain dichotomy here that is difficult to resolve completely. My thinking on this is simple. Since there are so many things to learn—and things that you can learn—all the help you can get is greatly appreciated. The help only serves to lay the foundation for even more learning and understanding.
There are some ideas, however, that can help solidify a foundation. That is, there are ideas that are basic and can serve as a starting point.
First, let me ask you if you know someone who is immature? Someone who needs to grow up? Someone whom you know could be more active and creative? Someone who could lead a more purposeful life if he or she just “wised-up”? Someone who just seems to be wasting his or her life away—wandering randomly and aimlessly without goals, purposes, or direction?
If your answer is yes, then I have an idea. I have written a book designed just for such a person. It is called You Rules—Caution, Contents Leads to a Better Life (And Then Some Publishing, 2008). This is the kind of book I wish I had as a teenager, as a college student, or even as I was just starting out in life. I was a person who needed direction and purpose.
You Rules is a 316-page book (with only a mere 175-words (average) on a page) that is divided into six parts: 1) Establish the characteristics, 2) Strive to be healthy, 3) Get where you want to go, 4) Exercise your creativity, 5) Maintain your progress, and 6) Look toward a positive future.
The first section, “Establish the characteristics,” includes eight chapters, 1) Learn to be optimistic, 2) Develop a positive attitude, 3) Make self-discipline a habit, 4) Become passionate about life, 5) Make your own luck, 6) Get out of your comfort zones, 7) Make TNT your motto to feed your mind with positive input, and 8) Get organized.
Each chapter is full of specific, practical advice and suggestions. I write in the “Introduction,” “If you are looking for encouragement, specific suggestions, and inspiration to make changes in your life, this is the book for you.” For example, I write in Chapter 2, “Develop a Positive Attitude,” “For those who do not possess a positive attitude, positive thinking, and optimism, there are a number of things that can be done. Essentially, it requires a change in your mindset, but, even if you have been a pessimistic, negative thinker for many years, it is not too late to change your way of thinking and reap the benefits of a positive attitude” (p. 9). This is a series of sentences that can be changed only slightly to include every topic covered in the book.
Whether the subject is learning to be optimistic, developing a positive attitude, making self-discipline a habit, becoming passionate about life, making your own luck, etc. (any subject in the book!), I not only offer suggestions for change, but I give the reasons why as well. How will change help you? What differences will it make in your life?
The second section, “Strive to be Healthy,” includes six chapters: 9) Adopt a healthy lifestyle, 10) Make a commitment to regular exercise, 11) Develop a sense of wonder, 12) Have a sense of humor, 13) Make healthy selfishness part of your everyday existence, and 14) Work to achieve mindfulness in your life. In the “mindfulness” chapter, there are fourteen specific mindfulness traits that can be adopted, applied, and used in your life—practically and right now.
The “Get Where You Want to Go” section includes the most chapters of any section at eleven. That is because moving from where you are now to where you want to be requires more than just motivation; it requires action. These chapters discuss commitment, self-discipline, time management, listening to instincts, controlling worry, developing memory, pulling yourself up, pursuing a program of growth, development, and change, becoming an effective listener, moving to the front of the pack, and opening the mystery doors of your life.
Chapter 16, “Develop Self-Discipline,” is one of my favorites because it is based on the speech I gave as part of the “Last Lecture Series” at Bowling Green State University. In this chapter, I discuss the seven keys to developing self-discipline: attitude, time management, capitalizing on your skills, working hard, taking good care of yourself, making time for relationships, and spirituality. If there were one, overarching, chapter of greatest importance, it would probably be this one simply because it is one of the keys to accomplishing the ideas in all fifty chapters.
All of the chapters in You Rules are motivational. One of the best examples, however, is Chapter 24, “Strive to Move to the Front of the Pack.” In this chapter, there are at least eight specific suggestions that apply to any situation you face in life in which you want to excel. If you are truly interested in self-growth, this is an essential—exceptional—chapter.
The fourth section of the book, “Exercise Your Creativity,” includes six chapters: 26) Discover the benefits of creativity, 27) Develop the characteristics of successful, creative people, 28) Know how the creative process works, 29) Establish the kind of life in which creativity will flourish, 30) Become immersed in a field of study, and 31) Capitalize on flow. This is a section where you can truly stretch your boundaries, extend your knowledge, and push yourself beyond what you are and what you know.
There are nine chapters in the fifth section of the book, “Maintain Your Progress.” This section discusses all the distractions that can get in the way of forward progress—failure, mistakes, obstacles, undesirable social influences, perfection, brain issues, and devilish issues. The final chapter in this section, Chapter 40, “Make Your Self Improvements Last,” contains four specific and realistic suggestions that are guaranteed to assist you in making the changes you want continue. Change is tough—requires time, effort, focus, and commitment—but when you examine your life and make changes, now (with the book You Rules) you can make them last.
The final section, “Look Toward a Positive Future,” includes 10 chapters that attempt to keep things (change, growth, and development) in perspective. “Don’t take yourself too seriously,” advocates caution, just as the chapters on developing a growth mindset, reflecting on your present blessings, learning how to forgive, making the best use of your time, and striving for improvement not perfection. The final chapter about “the good life” shows that it is both well-defined and achievable.
At the end of Chapter 6, “Get Out of Your Comfort Zones,” and as part of the conclusion to that chapter, I write what could be the theme or thesis of the entire book: “What many people fail to realize is that, indeed, they are in charge of their lives—qualified, capable, and able—and they have the key to their prison cells if they would just find it, put it into the lock, turn it, open the door, and allow themselves to be catapulted into new and uncharted territory” (p. 17). Catapulted, I might add, into new and uncharted territory that could best be characterized by “growth.” At least when someone tells you to “Grow up!, after reading You Rules, you will know how to do it.
- - - - - - -
At wikiHow the essay, “How to grow up,” offers 7 practical tips for growing up.http://www.wikihow.com/Grow-Up>
At Scribd the essay, “Ten Steps to Mental Maturity,” is excellent!
At Adoption.com the essay “7 Steps to Emotional Maturity,” is also excellent!
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Copyright August, 2012, by And Then Some Publishing LLC
Thursday, August 16, 2012
When the time is right
It is during January and February when I experience some of my most productive time when it comes to writing. I am able to “stock-up” on essays for my blog, write reviews of books for my blog, and compose speeches and other items, like no other time during the year. For example, since January 14th, 2011, when I finished reading page proofs for the 10th edition of my textbook, Communicating Effectively (McGraw-Hill), I completed more than 30 essays and nearly 25 book reviews.
This essay, however, is not intended to extol my successes or announce my writing projects. There are at least 4 essential reasons for my level of productivity during January and February, and these four reasons can apply to anyone at any time when it comes to productivity. That is, they have universal applicability.
The first reason or stimulus for my productivity is mindset — an habitual or characteristic mental attitude that determines how I will interpret and respond to situations. For example, I know in advance that January and February are productive months for me (they always have been!); thus, I have a mindset already in place to accept and use this time productively. Consequently, I not only look forward to these months, but I make eager and prolific use of them each year.
The second reason or stimulus for my productivity is attention, which is defined at Wikipedia as “. . . the cognitive process of selectively concentrating on one aspect of the environment while ignoring other things.” There is too much going on in life to pay attention to everything, and with all of the new technologies that cry out for use, attention “implies withdrawal from some things in order to deal effectively with others.” What attention boils down to is choice: How do you choose to use your time and effort?
For me, attention to a report, examination, project, or paper — in addition, of course, to all the basic needs and necessities of living — is a key factor in getting things accomplished. To what do you really want to give your attention?
When my wife and I lived in Amherst, MA, the local, weekly newspaper, the Amherst Record, had an ongoing contest called “Found Poetry.” Each week they published readers’ discoveries. Within each newspaper, you were to find sentence parts that rhymed or worked together naturally as a poem, and then submit this “found poetry” for publication. It was a delightful exercise, and I was published on nearly a weekly basis. The key was giving attention to detail, but what I quickly discovered was that just by reading the newspaper, these excerpts forced their way into my attention --- they jumped out at me without effort on my part.
While living in Massachusetts, too, our daily newspaper was The Springfield Union (out of Springfield, MA). They ran a “Mung” contest which required readers to use a triangle as a basic art form, then draw all the various aspects of a “Mung.” For example, I put onto the triangle waders, a fishing pole, a net for scooping up fish, for a “Fisher-mung.” I drew a “Preacher-mung,” a “Sales-mung,” a “Post-mung,” a “Milk-mung,” and a “Professor-mung,” a-mung many others, and I won the contest. Once again, attention played a significant role.
There is a third reason or stimulus for my productivity, and that can be summed up in the word passion — a strong or extravagant enthusiasm, or desire for anything There isn’t much that I do in my life that doesn’t involve passion. Perhaps that’s because I have an overall passion for life that acts like an umbrella that covers all that I do. Maybe passion is the stem of the umbrella that supports everything else; it is certainly there as part of the umbrella!
Once I decided to become a medical doctor, I pursued it with a passion from 9th grade through my sophomore year of college. When I changed to a speech-communication major, I pursued it with a passion. I wrote textbooks (over 30 counting all editions), and students said they could sense the passion; I gave speeches (over 16 published in Vital Speeches of the Day) full of passion; I established a publishing company (And Then Some Publishing, L.L.C.) designed to represent that additional element (passion); and I write essays (well over 350 now), with a sense of passion.
Passion is what fires the spirit, drives the enthusiasm, and supplies the energy to continue.
There is a fourth reason or stimulus, however, that accounts for my productivity. It is relaxation or patience — quiet, steady perseverance; even-tempered care; diligence: to work with patience. Most of the work I do has to do with writing of some kind — as you can tell just from the examples cited above. To write requires creativity — defined at Dictionary.com as “the ability to transcend traditional ideas, rules, patterns, relationships, or the like, and to create meaningful new ideas, forms, methods, interpretations, etc.; originality, progressiveness, or imagination.”
What I have discovered is that creativity cannot be forced. You train for it, prepare for it, lay the foundation for it, and exercise it, and then you wait for it. One of the most important and essential requirements for productivity is to wait until the time is right. Now, I’m not talking here about procrastination, which is a negative, confounding, and unproductive force. When I say “wait for it,” I simply mean that you maintain an alertness or sensitivity, a responsiveness or receptivity, or an open-minded flexibility.
When I looked in a thesaurus for the word open-minded, the synonyms I discovered are revealing: unprejudiced, nonpartisan, neutral, nonjudgmental, nondiscriminatory, objective, dispassionate, disinterested, tolerant, liberal, permissive, and broad-minded.
You may have experienced the need for relaxation and patience yourself. For example, if you have ever tried to think of a word, but you could not, then, when you were not thinking about it — perhaps thinking of something else entirely or just relaxing — the word suddenly comes to you unheralded, as if “out of the blue,” then you have a sense of what I mean. If you have properly tilled the garden, and there is plenty of sunshine, water, and nutrients, the seeds you planted will sprout — just back off, relax, and be patient!
If I have the proper mindset, my attention is sufficiently focused, and I am filled with passion, then I have happily discovered that with some relaxation and patience — perhaps even turning my attention to other things than the project at hand — I can accomplish what I need to do. It is as if I am offering directions and guidance — albeit surreptitiously [acting with stealth] — to the behavioral centers of my physical being. In the end (when the time is right), I am simply programming my self for productivity.
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Gabby Bugwadia has a great little essay, “How to program yourself for success,” at Helium.com. She opens her essay saying, “Sure, we all want to be successful in every aspect of all our lives. We want to be successful as parents; we want to be successful in our relationships; and we want to be successful in our jobs and careers. However, how many of us are willing to pay the price? How many of us are willing to stretch beyond and go all out to do whatever it takes?” In the essay she discusses attitude, believe, action plan, focus, visualize, and conclusion. It’s a delightful, brief essay.
At Gigaom Amber Singleton Riviere’s essay, “Improved Productivity: A 12-Step Program” offers the following steps: 1) Plan your exit, 2) Plan tomorrow, 3) Set your boundaries, 4) Honor a bedtime routine, 5) Start the day off right, 6) Maintain your boundaries, 7) Avoid or limit email time, 8) Avoid or limit news feeds and social networks, 9) Start with your list, 10) Check in often, 11) Work in blocks, and 12) Stay disciplined. Great suggestions here in a very readable essay.
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Copyright August, 2012, by And Then Some Publishing, L.L.C.
Thursday, August 9, 2012
How do you know?
by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.
Our life can be our insurance policy. It doesn’t work for everyone; however, it can work for you if 1) you think about it, 2) prepare for it, and 3) use it.
We purchase life insurance, automobile insurance, and house insurance, and we spend a great deal of our money on these insurance policies. Seldom, however, do we spend as much money on any other kind of insurance policy. It is, perhaps, because these are obvious, they are what everybody does, and, as much as possible, they protect us from unexpected disasters, calamities, and accidents. Word of mouth from others who have been protected from such situations by their insurance policies is often sufficient testimony to convince us of the need for it.
But there is another kind of insurance policy that we can “purchase” on a daily basis — that is, we can regularly pay a portion of the premium — and we seldom give it a second thought. We don’t think about it because it is not obvious, it is not purchased by everyone, and the times when it is used and needed are not always in public view or even publicly acknowledged.
The key question is “how do you know?” Our future is not written in the stars; it is not foreseen; and there is no force that controls or determines our future. Think about it, our lives could be considerably better (more predictable!) if we had accurate, fact-based, realistic information about our future. Knowing it would not just allow us to prepare for it in a specific way, but it would help us develop a precise, clear-cut, step-by-step plan for achieving it.
The point is: we don’t know our future, and we can’t know our future. That should be a prompt, however, for a whole different set of thoughts and behaviors, and that is what this essay is all about.
How can our life be our insurance policy? Only through preparation. In my textbook, Communicating Effectively (McGraw-Hill, 2012), I actually label this concept “strategic flexibility.” The reason is that every reader of my textbook already communicates; thus, the purpose of the book is to add tools to each reader’s toolbox in order to give him or her additional possibilities, further tools, added flexibility, fresh insights, and extra options. That is precisely what preparation throughout our lives can provide. Let me give you an example from my own life which has had a predominant place and a dominant influence on everything I have done.
I never thought of becoming a writer, especially the author of books, at any early point in my life. It wasn’t on my radar screen then or at any point ever! I think that if that had been a goal, perhaps, I would have begun preparation early, and I certainly would have prepared much more specifically — to be read, differently.
Now, this is the point of this essay: My education, background, and experiences — all completed as part of what I thought as a normal upbringing — served as the preparation that made this opportunity (becoming a writer and author of books) occur and made it something possible. Who would have guessed? Who could have guessed?
In addition to my formal education, background, and experiences, there was another significant contribution: getting along with others. Of course, I had no idea where it would lead or how it would get me somewhere, but I made friends, interacted positively with classmates, and got to know most of them by name.
There was no way I could have predicted how my positive interaction with Saundra Hybels (whom I did not know personally at all) in a graduate class at the University of Michigan could have resulted in the life I have led. This was not a special class; it was not an unusual acquaintance; it lacked specialness or distinction in any way.
One day — out of the blue — Saundra gave me a call and asked if I wanted to co-write a book with her. I never asked her what prompted her to call me, what qualities she saw in me that even appealed to her, or how I might compliment her in this co-writing effort.
It was precisely at this point in my life — when I said “Yes” to Saundra — that I even thought about writing a book. At that point in my life, I have to admit, I did not feel the least bit qualified to do this. I had always put authors of books on pedestals. These were people who had years of experience, who were experts in their fields, and who had experiences that qualified them to write with a high level of skill. I didn’t have the expertness, prowess, proficiency, competence, knowledge, mastery, ability, nor aptitude to be an author. Not only that, it wasn’t on my agenda nor horizon.
Saundra and I divided up the task, began work at once, and produced a book just six months later.
I know in retrospect that had I not taken my education seriously, done very well in school, strove for excellence in everything I did, and made friends with classmates, this opportunity would never have come to me.
I thought about this essay when I was exercising this morning, and I realized that the preparation I used throughout my life is exactly the same as that I use when exercising. Sure you tone your body for good health (to live longer and better), and you do aerobic exercises because it is good for your brain, heart, and body. But there is another reason and it comes back to the insurance policy discussed earlier. There have been so many moments — some of them entirely unpredicted — when I have had to call upon my body and brain. I needed them to be in tip-top shape, and I knew that I could count on them to be at their best. Why? Because I kept them prepared and ready. To be a good, responsible, active, involved citizen requires that all of us act and think to our best ability.
Preparation was the reason for learning how to type in the eighth grade, and following
up on early swimming lessons with the entire stock of American Red Cross sponsored WSI (Water Safety Instruction) classes. It can be the motivation for learning any basic life skills like playing an instrument, learning to dance, reading, writing, mathematics, etc.
The idea of being able to face any aspect of your life or any new experience with all of your skills and abilities at their peak can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. That is, if you know that your engine is tuned and fully fueled, you are ready to compete with any other vehicle in its class, and that information allows you to be confident, self-assured, and ready for action. It is as if your success is pre-conditioned and that strength then energizes you to be the winner that you are. That is when your life becomes your insurance policy, and the answer to the question, “How do you know?” is clear. I know I can face any obstacle, any problem, any predicament, and arrive at the best solution possible — because I have all the skill and ability I need!
- - - - - - - - -
Sherri Kruger has a great essay, “4 Ways to Prepare You for Life’s Curveballs,” at the web site Business insider.com. Her four suggestions include 1) Non-attachment, 2) Be open-minded, 3) Make little changes, and put them out there, and 4) embrace change. Her essay is all about agility, and here is some of what she says: “Being able to quickly change direction, refocus, and get back on track are key qualities to establishing agility in your life. By being agile you're better able to act on ideas, opportunities, and you can quickly start taking these ideas forward.”
At the web site Mind Tools, James Manktelow and Amy Carlson have a short essay, “Building Self-Confidence: Preparing yourself for success!” They let readers know: “Self-confident people inspire confidence in others: their audience, their peers, their bosses, their customers, and their friends. And gaining the confidence of others is one of the key ways in which a self-confident person finds success.” They offer specific suggestions and advice that will be useful for anyone.
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Copyright August, 2012, by And Then Some Publishing L.L.C.
Our life can be our insurance policy. It doesn’t work for everyone; however, it can work for you if 1) you think about it, 2) prepare for it, and 3) use it.
We purchase life insurance, automobile insurance, and house insurance, and we spend a great deal of our money on these insurance policies. Seldom, however, do we spend as much money on any other kind of insurance policy. It is, perhaps, because these are obvious, they are what everybody does, and, as much as possible, they protect us from unexpected disasters, calamities, and accidents. Word of mouth from others who have been protected from such situations by their insurance policies is often sufficient testimony to convince us of the need for it.
But there is another kind of insurance policy that we can “purchase” on a daily basis — that is, we can regularly pay a portion of the premium — and we seldom give it a second thought. We don’t think about it because it is not obvious, it is not purchased by everyone, and the times when it is used and needed are not always in public view or even publicly acknowledged.
The key question is “how do you know?” Our future is not written in the stars; it is not foreseen; and there is no force that controls or determines our future. Think about it, our lives could be considerably better (more predictable!) if we had accurate, fact-based, realistic information about our future. Knowing it would not just allow us to prepare for it in a specific way, but it would help us develop a precise, clear-cut, step-by-step plan for achieving it.
The point is: we don’t know our future, and we can’t know our future. That should be a prompt, however, for a whole different set of thoughts and behaviors, and that is what this essay is all about.
How can our life be our insurance policy? Only through preparation. In my textbook, Communicating Effectively (McGraw-Hill, 2012), I actually label this concept “strategic flexibility.” The reason is that every reader of my textbook already communicates; thus, the purpose of the book is to add tools to each reader’s toolbox in order to give him or her additional possibilities, further tools, added flexibility, fresh insights, and extra options. That is precisely what preparation throughout our lives can provide. Let me give you an example from my own life which has had a predominant place and a dominant influence on everything I have done.
I never thought of becoming a writer, especially the author of books, at any early point in my life. It wasn’t on my radar screen then or at any point ever! I think that if that had been a goal, perhaps, I would have begun preparation early, and I certainly would have prepared much more specifically — to be read, differently.
Now, this is the point of this essay: My education, background, and experiences — all completed as part of what I thought as a normal upbringing — served as the preparation that made this opportunity (becoming a writer and author of books) occur and made it something possible. Who would have guessed? Who could have guessed?
In addition to my formal education, background, and experiences, there was another significant contribution: getting along with others. Of course, I had no idea where it would lead or how it would get me somewhere, but I made friends, interacted positively with classmates, and got to know most of them by name.
There was no way I could have predicted how my positive interaction with Saundra Hybels (whom I did not know personally at all) in a graduate class at the University of Michigan could have resulted in the life I have led. This was not a special class; it was not an unusual acquaintance; it lacked specialness or distinction in any way.
One day — out of the blue — Saundra gave me a call and asked if I wanted to co-write a book with her. I never asked her what prompted her to call me, what qualities she saw in me that even appealed to her, or how I might compliment her in this co-writing effort.
It was precisely at this point in my life — when I said “Yes” to Saundra — that I even thought about writing a book. At that point in my life, I have to admit, I did not feel the least bit qualified to do this. I had always put authors of books on pedestals. These were people who had years of experience, who were experts in their fields, and who had experiences that qualified them to write with a high level of skill. I didn’t have the expertness, prowess, proficiency, competence, knowledge, mastery, ability, nor aptitude to be an author. Not only that, it wasn’t on my agenda nor horizon.
Saundra and I divided up the task, began work at once, and produced a book just six months later.
I know in retrospect that had I not taken my education seriously, done very well in school, strove for excellence in everything I did, and made friends with classmates, this opportunity would never have come to me.
I thought about this essay when I was exercising this morning, and I realized that the preparation I used throughout my life is exactly the same as that I use when exercising. Sure you tone your body for good health (to live longer and better), and you do aerobic exercises because it is good for your brain, heart, and body. But there is another reason and it comes back to the insurance policy discussed earlier. There have been so many moments — some of them entirely unpredicted — when I have had to call upon my body and brain. I needed them to be in tip-top shape, and I knew that I could count on them to be at their best. Why? Because I kept them prepared and ready. To be a good, responsible, active, involved citizen requires that all of us act and think to our best ability.
Preparation was the reason for learning how to type in the eighth grade, and following
up on early swimming lessons with the entire stock of American Red Cross sponsored WSI (Water Safety Instruction) classes. It can be the motivation for learning any basic life skills like playing an instrument, learning to dance, reading, writing, mathematics, etc.
The idea of being able to face any aspect of your life or any new experience with all of your skills and abilities at their peak can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. That is, if you know that your engine is tuned and fully fueled, you are ready to compete with any other vehicle in its class, and that information allows you to be confident, self-assured, and ready for action. It is as if your success is pre-conditioned and that strength then energizes you to be the winner that you are. That is when your life becomes your insurance policy, and the answer to the question, “How do you know?” is clear. I know I can face any obstacle, any problem, any predicament, and arrive at the best solution possible — because I have all the skill and ability I need!
- - - - - - - - -
Sherri Kruger has a great essay, “4 Ways to Prepare You for Life’s Curveballs,” at the web site Business insider.com. Her four suggestions include 1) Non-attachment, 2) Be open-minded, 3) Make little changes, and put them out there, and 4) embrace change. Her essay is all about agility, and here is some of what she says: “Being able to quickly change direction, refocus, and get back on track are key qualities to establishing agility in your life. By being agile you're better able to act on ideas, opportunities, and you can quickly start taking these ideas forward.”
At the web site Mind Tools, James Manktelow and Amy Carlson have a short essay, “Building Self-Confidence: Preparing yourself for success!” They let readers know: “Self-confident people inspire confidence in others: their audience, their peers, their bosses, their customers, and their friends. And gaining the confidence of others is one of the key ways in which a self-confident person finds success.” They offer specific suggestions and advice that will be useful for anyone.
- - - - - - - - - - -
Copyright August, 2012, by And Then Some Publishing L.L.C.
Thursday, August 2, 2012
An amazing coincidence: Sister Camille's experience
by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.
On Friday, February 11, 2011, I received a message on my answering machine. The name was garbled; however, the phone number for contacting the party was clear, and I copied it down. In going to my computer, my son had forwarded a message to me from our andthensomeworks.com web site which duplicated the answering-machine message. The message was as follows:
“Your father-in-law is a long time friend and mentor of mine. Something has come to my attention that I would like to discuss with you. I will be out much of today; however, I’d appreciate a phone number where I might contact you.”
Shortly after I read the message, the phone rang, and it was Sister Camille.
What she told me was “an amazing coincidence.”
She said that she learned just a couple of weeks before this that Edgar’s [Willis] book, Civilian in an ill-fitting uniform: A memoir of World War II had been published. Immediately when she heard the news she ordered a copy from Amazon.com. But, instead of ordering a new copy, one used copy was available, and she ordered that one.
The book arrived just two days before her call to me, and she was astounded to read what was written on the opening page:
Sister Camille mentioned the beautiful handwriting used in the inscription (which was mine), but she wanted to let me know that the book I thought I had given to the Maumee Public Library on behalf of a local author (Edgar E. Willis lives at Kingston Residence, Room 226, 333 East Boundary, Perrysburg, OH 43551) had been sold to Amazon.com.
What is the “amazing coincidence”? Sister Camille and Edgar go back many, many years. They have been friends for years. To think that it was her who ordered the copy, and to think that she saw (has in her possession) the inscription I wrote to the local library is simply amazing.
Sister Camille’s major concern was not the coincidence nor the friendship. Her concern was simply that a book of this caliber by a local author was intended to be in the local library to be read by interested members of the community, and it was not available to them. This was a disservice to both Edgar and the community.
How this happened is a puzzlement, and it will be pursued at the Maumee Public Library with Mary Chwialkowski, Library Manager. We know that when the local historian at the Way Public Library (Richard Baranowski, Reference/Local History Librarian) looked for Edgar’s book about one month ago (the book was given to Way Public Library at exactly the same time as when it was given to the Maumee Library), it was not in circulation. Having checked he found the book was located downstairs in the library waiting to receive an OSHA number.
What Mr. Baranowski decided to do was to call the Maumee Library to see if the book was in circulation there. What he tried to determine was if that library had an OSHA number for the book that the Way Library could use. The book was not listed in the Maumee catalog, and no OSHA number was available. Mr. Baranowski apologized for the delay in getting the book from donation to catalog listing, but he could say nothing about a time frame for a future entry into the card catalog. (What is interesting is that I have donated five books by a local author (myself) without OSHA numbers that have been previously published by And Then Some Publishing, L.L.C., and all are available to the community and listed in the catalog.
As I write this essay (02-11-11), there is no resolution to this dilemma. The question is a simple one: How did a book I donated (and inscribed) to the Maumee Library in February, 2010, end up as a used book sold at Amazon.com?
This question will be pursued for the following reasons:
1. We find the disappearance of the book from the “donation shelf” at Maumee Public Library an interesting occurrence — and interesting occurrences are worth pursuing.
2. We would like to know, if possible, who is responsible for selling the book at a public library to Amazon.com.?
3. Shouldn’t someone want to know how this whole event took place so that it wouldn’t happen in the future?
4. What is doing a public service worth? Shouldn’t events like this be pursued simply as a public service?
I want to thank Sister Camille, of course, for calling (and sending an Internet message) to alert us (those of us at And Then Some Publishing, L.L.C. (ATSP)) to the situation. We think that the community is being deprived access to a great book by a local author. We think that Edgar E. Willis is being deprived of representation as a local author at one of the premier local library venues. We at ATSP hope that the situation gets resolved to Sister Camille’s satisfaction, and we intend to call her with the news. She is the host of a radio show, and I’m certain this whole event will, at some point, be revealed to a wider audience. It is truly an amazing coincidence when you think that the very book I inscribed for and donated to the Maumee Public Library ended up not just being sold at Amazon.com, but being purchased as a used book by a long and true friend of the author who wrote the book.
We found an answer to this amazing coincidence that was simple and to the point: When a book is “donated” to the Maumee Public Library (part of the Lucas County Public Library system) it is given to .Friends of the Toledo-Lucas County Public Library. Friends of the Library (FOTL) is a nonprofit organization that encourages, promotes, and supports the ongoing operation of the Library, and “donated” books are sold (often at Amazon.com) to support FOTL operations. Sister Camille purchased the book at Amazon.com, and it was supplied by FOTL.
- - - - - - - -
Copyright August, 2012, by And Then Some Publishing L.L.C.
On Friday, February 11, 2011, I received a message on my answering machine. The name was garbled; however, the phone number for contacting the party was clear, and I copied it down. In going to my computer, my son had forwarded a message to me from our andthensomeworks.com web site which duplicated the answering-machine message. The message was as follows:
“Your father-in-law is a long time friend and mentor of mine. Something has come to my attention that I would like to discuss with you. I will be out much of today; however, I’d appreciate a phone number where I might contact you.”
Shortly after I read the message, the phone rang, and it was Sister Camille.
What she told me was “an amazing coincidence.”
She said that she learned just a couple of weeks before this that Edgar’s [Willis] book, Civilian in an ill-fitting uniform: A memoir of World War II had been published. Immediately when she heard the news she ordered a copy from Amazon.com. But, instead of ordering a new copy, one used copy was available, and she ordered that one.
The book arrived just two days before her call to me, and she was astounded to read what was written on the opening page:
“February 4, 2010
On behalf of the author, Edgar E. Willis, and And Then Some Publishing, L.L.C., we present this book to the Maumee Public Library.”
Sister Camille mentioned the beautiful handwriting used in the inscription (which was mine), but she wanted to let me know that the book I thought I had given to the Maumee Public Library on behalf of a local author (Edgar E. Willis lives at Kingston Residence, Room 226, 333 East Boundary, Perrysburg, OH 43551) had been sold to Amazon.com.
What is the “amazing coincidence”? Sister Camille and Edgar go back many, many years. They have been friends for years. To think that it was her who ordered the copy, and to think that she saw (has in her possession) the inscription I wrote to the local library is simply amazing.
Sister Camille’s major concern was not the coincidence nor the friendship. Her concern was simply that a book of this caliber by a local author was intended to be in the local library to be read by interested members of the community, and it was not available to them. This was a disservice to both Edgar and the community.
How this happened is a puzzlement, and it will be pursued at the Maumee Public Library with Mary Chwialkowski, Library Manager. We know that when the local historian at the Way Public Library (Richard Baranowski, Reference/Local History Librarian) looked for Edgar’s book about one month ago (the book was given to Way Public Library at exactly the same time as when it was given to the Maumee Library), it was not in circulation. Having checked he found the book was located downstairs in the library waiting to receive an OSHA number.
What Mr. Baranowski decided to do was to call the Maumee Library to see if the book was in circulation there. What he tried to determine was if that library had an OSHA number for the book that the Way Library could use. The book was not listed in the Maumee catalog, and no OSHA number was available. Mr. Baranowski apologized for the delay in getting the book from donation to catalog listing, but he could say nothing about a time frame for a future entry into the card catalog. (What is interesting is that I have donated five books by a local author (myself) without OSHA numbers that have been previously published by And Then Some Publishing, L.L.C., and all are available to the community and listed in the catalog.
As I write this essay (02-11-11), there is no resolution to this dilemma. The question is a simple one: How did a book I donated (and inscribed) to the Maumee Library in February, 2010, end up as a used book sold at Amazon.com?
This question will be pursued for the following reasons:
1. We find the disappearance of the book from the “donation shelf” at Maumee Public Library an interesting occurrence — and interesting occurrences are worth pursuing.
2. We would like to know, if possible, who is responsible for selling the book at a public library to Amazon.com.?
3. Shouldn’t someone want to know how this whole event took place so that it wouldn’t happen in the future?
4. What is doing a public service worth? Shouldn’t events like this be pursued simply as a public service?
I want to thank Sister Camille, of course, for calling (and sending an Internet message) to alert us (those of us at And Then Some Publishing, L.L.C. (ATSP)) to the situation. We think that the community is being deprived access to a great book by a local author. We think that Edgar E. Willis is being deprived of representation as a local author at one of the premier local library venues. We at ATSP hope that the situation gets resolved to Sister Camille’s satisfaction, and we intend to call her with the news. She is the host of a radio show, and I’m certain this whole event will, at some point, be revealed to a wider audience. It is truly an amazing coincidence when you think that the very book I inscribed for and donated to the Maumee Public Library ended up not just being sold at Amazon.com, but being purchased as a used book by a long and true friend of the author who wrote the book.
We found an answer to this amazing coincidence that was simple and to the point: When a book is “donated” to the Maumee Public Library (part of the Lucas County Public Library system) it is given to .Friends of the Toledo-Lucas County Public Library. Friends of the Library (FOTL) is a nonprofit organization that encourages, promotes, and supports the ongoing operation of the Library, and “donated” books are sold (often at Amazon.com) to support FOTL operations. Sister Camille purchased the book at Amazon.com, and it was supplied by FOTL.
- - - - - - - -
Copyright August, 2012, by And Then Some Publishing L.L.C.
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