by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.
"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us,” said the comic-strip character, Calvin. "The chief obstacle to the progress of the human race is the human race,” Don Marquis is quoted as saying. "A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices,” said William James. Doesn’t it seem sometimes like everyone’s complaining? Everyone is negative. All you hear about is difficulty, failure, and disaster? Those with whom you converse all share the negative news they see on television or read in the newspaper?
It is a negative atmosphere such as this that feeds on itself and, thus, produces more negativity. It is as if negative talk offers a license (even encouragement) to be even more so. Examples increase, voices get louder, more people contribute, and if there was a positive environment before, it would completely disappear—vanished in a sea storm of adversity and dissension. And it is contagious!
We have a society that focuses on the negative. The mass media affects the ways in which everyone thinks and acts. It influences behavior both positively and negatively, of course, but the negative grabs and holds attention and, thus, when ratings are important, negativity reigns supreme.
Why is negativity a problem? Not only does it create problems in our lives such as stress, anger, helplessness, and depression, there are other consequences as well. At Personal Development Coach.net, the essay is entitled, “Negative Attitude: Causes, Consequences And Cures,” there are four main consequences listed for those who are negative. First, it can shorten lives. Every time you are negative—whether it’s anger, upset, or frustration—your life gets shorter. Second, negativity creates an unpleasant future. Because your present actions determine your future, “If you constantly moan and are dissatisfied with your circumstances, in the future you are sure to meet with more of the things you are unhappy about. The more you complain, the more things you will find to complain about.” It’s the same as what was mentioned above: a negative atmosphere is a catalyst that accelerates the speed with which more negativity follows. And it is contagious!
The third consequence for negativity is that it harms others. “Your negative mood affects people around you. You should never make others feel bad because by doing so you are contributing not only to your own misery, but to the unhappiness of others also.” And closely related to the third consequence is the fourth. A negative attitude produces negative effects. “Every cause has an effect and so your negative attitude (cause) produces negative circumstances. Mostly people think it's the other way round, but that's not the case. Your thinking causes your circumstances.”
Not only does negativity sap individual energy but the energy of organizations as well. Not only does it divert critical attention from an individual’s work and performance, the work and performance of organizations is negatively affected as well. Some people, too, get stuck in a cycle of negativity and find it impossible to improve their life or their health. When it becomes severe they think they don’t deserve happiness or money, and sometimes they close their mind, see no opportunities, and behave and react in such a way that they repel both people and opportunities. And it is contagious!
First, it must be clear that change is difficult. The barriers to change are enormous. Attitudes become entrenched. Behaviors become automatic. Friends and family often support the negative behavior because it is expected and predictable. The environment offers support and, unless changed, becomes a prop or crutch in the negative process. The mental state lends support to a negative spiral, and it becomes worse and worse. In many situations, a professional is required since individual change becomes difficult or impossible.
Because of the barriers to change, change requires a change in attitude, a commitment to change, as well as patience and persistence. Change will not occur overnight, but wanting to change can be the key to making it happen. Without these elements in place; nothing long term can or will occur. But, with these elements in place, you are on your way. The first step is to make the commitment to be more positive every day and to maintain a positive outlook. Start now and reverse negative thinking with positive thoughts. With any kind of start, you must allow at least 30 days for any kind of change to take hold. But know at the outset that just as negativity is contagious, so it a positive outlook and positive behavior!
From the Simplicity.com web site, in the brief essay there entitled, “Overcoming Negative Thoughts,” there is a great suggestion for change: “The moment you catch yourself repeating the same negative thoughts over and over in your mind, use the STOP acronym. Research shows that people who receive positive distractions for just eight minutes show a remarkable change in their moods and in breaking the cycle of repetitive thought.
“S-Say the word STOP to interrupt your internal destructive thoughts. Tell yourself firmly to ‘STOP’ over thinking.
“T-TAKE a deep breath. Then, take a break: Go for a walk or a hike, read a great book, listen to your favorite music. Do something to take your attention away from over thinking and, if possible, to change the environment.
O-Focus on the OUTCOME of your 30-Day Goal. Affirm why you are committed to your goal [destroying your negative attitude forever].
P-PRAISE and acknowledge yourself for the progress you are making. Remember, you're looking for progress, not perfection!
“As long as [you] are aware of [your] own negative attitude and are willing to adopt a more positive attitude towards life, change can and will occur. Once [you] realize that a negative attitude is the biggest obstacle to [your] happiness, [you] can make a conscious choice to help [yourself]. There will be obstacles and setbacks on the road to personal change but [you] must remain focused on the bigger picture: [your] success and happiness.” This is the tenth item in an essay, “Ten Ways to Overcome a Negative Attitude,” by Thich Nhat Hanh, at the web site, InTek Online. There are no guarantees, of course, but this is a solid, productive, and potentially rewarding way to change both negative thinking and a negative attitude. The great thing is you can begin at once—and it is contagious!
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At ZeroMillion.com, Bob and Jeff Griswold, of Effective Learning Systems, Inc., have an essay entitled, “How to become totally positive right now,” in which they list and discuss a dozen suggestions for changing negative thinking to positive.
David Spero, at the web site, HealingWell.com, has an essay entitled, “Get a Better Mirror: Overcoming Negative Thoughts,” in which he discusses where mirrors come from, when it’s time to change mirrors, and how we can get a better mirror.
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Copyright September, 2011, by And Then Some Publishing, LLC
Thursday, September 8, 2011
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