Eight steps for raising your standards And Then Some

Are you happy with “good enough,” or have you become complacent with the “ordinary”? It’s a little like living with all the junk you have accumulated over the years and making no move to change the situation. As-a-matter-of-fact, you have become so accustomed to it, you don’t even notice it anymore. Often, it is this same mindset that carries over into every aspect of your life — relationships, jobs, household chores, and projects. To change the mindset requires effort and commitment, and when “good enough” is sufficient, why bother?

One of the reasons people consistently perform at a higher level than others or produce more remarkable results is that they possess a higher mental standard. Because you always move in the direction of your currently dominant thought, when your mindset is “excellence,” you will move toward that and perform at a higher level.

The important point here is a simple one. Trying to change behavior and performance — like improving your life, upgrading your standards, enhancing your relationships, advancing your employment status, and bettering your everyday experiences — requires a change in your mindset, otherwise any change you plan or undertake is likely to fail.

The question clearly becomes, how do you do it? The very first step is to realize you are in control. It is your choice about how you want to live your life. Because standards are a reflection of you and what’s right for you, you must make a choice: Choose to raise your standards. You are in control, and until you raise your standards at a deep, internal level, then nothing is going to change in your life.

The second step is to look at the people you admire. What is it about them that you admire? How do they behave? How do you feel when you’re around them? What would you have to change in your life to become more like the people you admire? These comparisons can offer a useful plan of action or, at the very least, a place to begin.

The third step is to expect more from yourself. To change, you are going to have to adjust, modify, revise, reshape, rework, and, perhaps, transform yourself. Not only is this risky, but also it requires work. Demand more of your performance in everything you do. You may need to become more creative in looking at and selecting from a wide variety of options; you may need to become more efficient by cutting out time-wasting, unnecessary distractions; you may need to put some pressure on yourself to break out from your secure, safe, and contented comfort zone. Although leaving any safe, stable environment for something unknown is unpredictable and potentially fraught with danger, also it can be an invigorating, action-packed adventure.

The fourth step is to expect more from others. You need to surround yourself with people who will challenge you. This may mean finding new players in your life. New co-workers, new friends, new relationship partners are more likely to test you, make demands on you, stretch, stimulate, inspire, and excite you. This is precisely what you need to push you to your limits.

The fifth step is to become more assertive. You get what you settle for; thus, when you risk rocking the boat, disappointing (or surprising others), or giving yourself more than what you think you deserve, you automatically raise your standards. When you raise your standards, you will automatically start to attract better things into your life — better friends, more varied experiences, superior relationships, and even higher quality material possessions.

There is no reason you need to settle for an inferior meal in a restaurant, a dirty room in a motel, a product that is below the quality you expect and deserve, a bad seat in an airplane or on a bus, or a negative conversation that may damage your ego, adversely affect your mindset, or unfavorably bear on your future goals. Take things back, write letters of complaint, buy higher quality things, do not support low-quality TV programming, refuse to pay for advertising, fix things instead of throwing them out, never buy anything on impulse, and stop settling for less.

The sixth step is to be easy on yourself. Change like that being discussed in this essay is not going to happen overnight. Much of what is being changed required your whole lifetime to learn and practice, thus, it is accepted, comfortable, and pleasant behavior. That is why so many people do not change. Become aware of your new behavior, and when you find yourself slipping back into your old ways, stop trying to change and live your new standard. Be easy on yourself when you slip; it is a necessary, always-present aspect of growing and changing.

Think of “raising your standards” as creating a new habit for yourself. It is a new way of acting. Remember that it takes a minimum of twenty-one repetitions of a behavior before it becomes a new habit. Consider this a journey, and as on any excursion — especially one with as important a destination as this voyage may have — you must enjoy the ride. Be observant and aware as this expedition takes you into new, uncharted territory.

The seventh step, in addition to the fourth step where you may find new players in your life, make a commitment to socialize more. When you raise your standards, the people around you will respond to you differently. There will be those who choose to leave your life while others choose to remain. New people will enter your life because they are attracted to your new standards. By socializing more — especially with raised standards — you will contact more of those likely to see and enjoy your new standards and more of those people who will choose to become part of your life because of those new standards. The quality of your life will improve.

The eighth step is to remove the words “good enough” and “okay” from your vocabulary.

Higher mental standards — desiring distinction, superior quality, and remarkable brilliance — can provide a framework for everything you do. It could be an event you’re planning, a product you’re designing, a meal you’re preparing, a letter you are writing, a project you are completing, a proposal you’re submitting, a speech you are creating, a vacation you are planning, or a room you are rearranging, when your standard is excellence, you will perform at a higher level. We tend to take our standards for granted, however, standards matter, and it is possible to raise them. By following the eight steps outlined in this essay, you will raise your standards And Then Some!

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A very good essay with some good practical ideas for raising your standards can be found in the essay, “Raise Your Standards,” at Take Action With Coach Lee (September 4, 2007).

Valorie Burton (July 27, 2009) writes an essay, “Raise Your Standards, Change Your Life,” at the website, blackamericaweb.com This was retrieved January 12, 2010, and in the essay Burton discusses four suggestions: 1) Decide what’s acceptable, 2) Exemplify what you expect, 3) Take steps to meet the new standard, and 4) Be willing to let go.

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Copyright April 2010 by And Then Some Publishing, LLC.