"’Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness ‘ is one of the most famous phrases in the United States Declaration of Independence. These three aspects are listed among the ‘inalienable rights’ of man.” So begins the entry entitled “Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness,” at Wikipedia.org. I wonder if most people think this is an inalienable right and, thus, should be handed to them (on a silver platter), or, does this free each individual to engage in an ephemeral [anything lasting for a very short time] search for emotional fulfillment?
What is happiness? “Happiness is an emotion associated with feelings ranging from contentment and satisfaction to bliss and intense joy,” according to Wikipedia. The Wikipedia definition goes on to explain the various approaches taken toward defining and explaining happiness whether they be philosophical, religious, psychological, or biological and to identify its sources. Most of us don’t need to understand such approaches; most of us know what happiness is and, too, how good it feels to have it when it occurs.
“Research,” according to Wikipedia, “has identified a number of correlates with happiness. These include religious involvement, parenthood, marital status, age, income, and proximity to other happy people.” What works for one person doesn’t necessarily work for another and, sometimes, you can possess all of the correlates and still not be happy! You may ask, “What’s that all about?
I know of a person, for example, who wallows in unhappiness. He has constructed an unhappy life for himself, and he actually works at making life miserable for those around him. Victories and successes (if they occur) are always tainted with “Yes, but..,” “Well, if I had only..., or, “Consider the source” — always diminished, lessened, moderated, or dismissed by a cynical, disparaging, demeaning, or denigrating comment. He is ruthlessly morose, recklessly gloomy, unconscionably despondent, and, otherwise, ill-tempered and irritable.
At Stepcase Lifehack, there is an essay entitled, “9 Tips in Life that Lead to Happiness,” and after making it clear to yourself what it is that will bring happiness, Leon Ho offers 8 other tips: 1) “Make a plan for attaining goals that you believe will make you happy.” 2) “Surround yourself with happy people.” 3) “When something goes wrong try to figure out a solution instead of wallowing in self pity.” 4) “Spend a few minutes each day thinking about the things that make you happy.” 5) “It’s also important to take some time each day to do something nice for yourself. 6) “Finding the humor in situations can also lead to happiness.” 7) “Maintaining your health is another way to achieve happiness.” 8) “Finally, it is important to understand that you deserve happiness.”
At the Dumb Little Man: Tips for Life website, David B. Bohl has written an essay entitled, “Four Steps to Achieve Happiness, Fulfillment, and Success in Your Life,” in which he says: 1) Visualize where you’ve been in your life, 2) Take responsibility for your actions, 3) Learn all you can in life, and 4) Appreciate what others bring into your life.
The “On Not Being a Sausage” website, Diedre Good has written an essay, “How to Achieve Happiness,” in which she briefly discusses the program for happiness followed by “the happiest person in the world,” (labeled that by the BBC), Matthieu Ricard, a Buddhist monk. “First, a sense of direction is very important,” Good writes. “A sense of flourishing comes from inside, where the mind translates all the circumstances. This gives inner strength and freedom. Genuine happiness comes from altruistic love, inner peace, and not on external circumstances such as things that give us pleasure like meals with friends. Putting hopes and fears outside of us is ultimately disappointing.”
Good goes on to say, “Cultivate inner love and peace and genuine compassion. This involves training....” “Of course the mind will wander, but bring it back gently without recrimination. Our aim is to practice compassion and wisdom. Wisdom is so as to free others from suffering....‘ “We learn to deal with negative toxins or emotions. Look at anger and stop fueling it as if it were a fire and it will vanish....” And Good concludes by saying, “When the brain is practicing loving kindness, it generates positive emotions.”
At one website, Solve Your Problem.com, Jeff Cohen, in his essay, “How Do You Achieve Happiness...Really?” says happiness appears as easy to achieve as changing your attitude: “Be happy, thankful, and contented. Count your blessings now. You will be surprised at how much has already been given and provided to you.
“Pay attention and focus on your blessings. Be thankful of the small things in life. Be happy that you wake up each day and see the sunrise. Be happy that you have a comfortable bed, nutritious food on the table, a reliable car that you use to go to the office, and family or friends around you. Appreciate the things that you usually take for granted and feel instant happiness. Do this first thing in the morning and the rest of the day will be bright..”
When you enter “how to achieve happiness?” (without the quotation marks) in the Google search window, you will get over 500,000 websites with suggestions that range from meditation to books on happiness, from serving others to living honorable and true, from pursuing Truth to developing compassion. The point isn’t the number of websites nor the specific suggestions, the point is that wherever you are in life, whatever your circumstances, numerous suggestions and a great deal of advice is available at the click of your mouse.
To say, “I just don’t know how to be happy,” is a comment that reeks of naivete. Nobody is going to hand you happiness, and nobody can make you happy. It is an internal process over which you have complete control. All you have to do now is make yourself happy!
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At Life Optimizer, Donald Latumahina has written an essay entitled, “Finding Happiness: 20 Ways to Achieve Happiness in Life.” His 20 suggestions are practical and realistic
At Ezine articles.com , there is a terrific, short essay, by Rebecca Olkowski, “3 Survival Tips to Achieve Happiness When You Are Living With Negativity,” in which she suggests: 1) Get help immediately, 2) Work to achieve your own happiness, and 3) Work on your inner happiness.
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Copyright May, 2010, by And Then Some Publishing L.L.C.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
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Yes, you just have to make yourself happy, BUT some people like your ill-tempered friend have to DECIDE to be happy first.
ReplyDeleteA lot of people just go through life thinking happiness is elusive, when actually, it is within them all along.
Happiness is a decision - simple!
Live Life Happy!
You have said so much in so few words. Absolutely right on. Thanks for your comment.
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